try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
