areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
