So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
