good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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