I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize