dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize