Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize