Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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