I'm really into asian looking animals
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
