I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
