he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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