the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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