How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize