Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
