Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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