I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
