who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
