At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
