is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
