Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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