She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize