if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
