there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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