Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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