This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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