i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
