Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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