Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
