Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I am naked and annoyed.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize