Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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