i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
