Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
