Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
