that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
