If i come over, it means nothing
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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