Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize