how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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