i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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