nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
