pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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