I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
