They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
