why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
