As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
So much rum. So many feels.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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