did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize