oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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