did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
