She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
