Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
