I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
