we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize