So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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