I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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