He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
In the future we'll all be gay
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
