Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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