I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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