I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
