Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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