Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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