$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
